It was April 2016 General Conference weekend, a little over a year and a half since the world as I knew it ruptured and collapsed. It had been an uphill battle to this point, climbing and fighting to put the pieces back together in both my inner and outer worlds trying to establish a life the best I knew how. God had never forsaken me, and in my greatest moments of need when in a very real way it seemed all was lost, a path was placed before me. I didn’t always have the faith that it would happen, but it did. I felt deeply grateful, and yet still stunned, still processing. It had now been about a month since my divorce had been finalized, something I had never considered a real option much less a possibility in my own life.
I felt great peace as I sat on my couch watching and listening, like I was able to breathe fresh crisp air again after a long period of breathing smog. And while I heard a thought here or there from the speaker, it felt as if the Spirit sat with me like an old friend guiding my thoughts where I needed to go, aiding me in processing and learning. It went on like this at various levels of tiredness and alertness for the next two days.
Nearing the close of the conference, as I was reflecting upon what I heard and all that I had been experiencing, my mind was suddenly caught up and I had a very strong visual pressed upon my mind. In this visual I saw what appeared like organized strings of light, and as I thought on them I understood that these strings collectively represented the spirit or mind of man/woman. As I looked on them further and contemplated their meaning, I then understood that each string of light represented an element of love or truth. Or in other words a string was a portion of love, that accorded with a particular principle of truth, that an individual had organized within themselves. The more strings organized within a person, the greater love they had obtained.
As I continued to look upon it, I realized that it was like an instrument – not that it appeared so much like an instrument as much as that I understood that it was comparable to an instrument. And as I looked closer I saw that these strings had a natural vibration to them. I then perceived that this natural vibration of the strings is the cause of what we call peace. It was state of being.
I then looked more broadly, and I saw while these strings had a natural resting state/vibration, it was also possible that these strings could be ‘played’. I saw that the strings could be played by acting upon or living these principles of love – and by doing so music was played. I perceived that this music was the sensation or experience we call joy or happiness, the melodies and harmonies of lived truth.
In this frame of mind this realization was amazing to me, I felt a sense of awe, for I had always supposed that happiness was something we get to, something that is reached. But here I understood a big distinction, peace was a state of being from the love within, the peace of love, but happiness was something that you do. Or in other words joy is an active experience – a way of life. As soon as you stop doing, peace or who you are does not cease, but happiness does. Continue with the music, and you are living happiness again.
I then could see that salvation likewise is not so much a place we reach or even a station we attain; salvation is largely a way of life. By living/playing love that person is experiencing happiness and is therefore “in salvation”. On the opposite hand, if an individual ‘plays’ principles of hate and discord, the music they experience is the feeling of misery and they therefore do not have salvation. And whether in this world or the world to come, it is the same. In other words living/playing hate or selfishness is misery. Living/playing love is happiness. It gave new meaning to the old question, “Are you saved?”
Eventually the experience ended. I’ve reflected a lot on that experience since. It wasn’t the very beginning of the paradigm shift that I’ve had, nor the end of it either, but I feel like in many ways it sits at the heart and center of the changes I’ve experienced. And for that reason I wanted to share it with you.
In future posts, I look forward to speaking more practically to how these ideas and others branching out from them have changed my outlook and approach to life, that has made such a difference for me. I would love to hear your thoughts, I appreciate all of you who are in my life, and look forward to next time!